Friday, February 27, 2009


Eighteen Year Old Journals

It seems grandiose, now, for a 12 year old to think that a series of journals she started keeping during childhood would contain some answers. Every now and then when I am home, and feeling lost, I take a peek. Today I found instructions I wrote to my older self: "I am writing this so you will not forget what it was like to be my age, and so you'll always see who you are."

Here's a snippet of a conversation I recorded with a friend, 18 years ago.

Me: "So, how come no one from high school ever calls me?"

My friend: "Because they think you are strange. And you are too honest."

And, really, nothing has changed.

Sounds like my high school life too, which has also not changed that much (though I've found "strange" friends). But I'd rather be strange if strange equals interesting. I remember a popular girl in HS asking me, with very genuine curiosity, why I read books and how I found out which ones to read. She really didn't know. Bet you she is not a deep and interesting person now, after decades of no reading or the attendant thinking, introspection, questioning that comes from good reading. She might be one of my newly rediscovered HS classmates, found via Facebook, who appears to spend much/most of her free time on FB filling out polls and surveys, tagging others for surveys, etc. I'm still wary of all of that as gross time wasting, but that's just me...
Well, once a geek, always a geek, I say. And why not? What's the point of a long life if you aren't growing, learning, concluding, etc.

I don't know about you, but it's been fascinating for me to watch as some of my friends--male friends in particular--begin to approach middle age and absolutely embrace it. Some grow more afraid, but many are just delighted by life and it's wonderful to see. I say they are reaping the benefits of early geekdom.
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